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He is an adult, and as an adult, if he chooses to engage in a legally sanctioned pastime such as chewing tobacco, he has that right. Yeah, I think chewing tobacco is gross. And since YOU are an adult, YOU have the right not to kiss him if he's engaging in said behavior, and you have the right to demand that no evidence of said behavior is left for you to clean up. I think the issue here is not your husband's lying, but your continual monitoring of his behavior. Does he WANT to stop? If not, then all this confrontation is destructive to your relationship, and puts you in an adversarial position. You WANT him to stop, but you don't control his actions. You can only control your actions. Stop putting him in a position of lying you're tired of investigating, and he's tired of being chased around. He's probably not lying about anything, but you and he have made this a bone of contention. So stop. You're making this a "trust" issue it's not. You are making it impossible for him to tell you the truth, because I'm betting that when you find evidence, you go ballistic. He knows you don't like it but he does it anyway. If he DOES want to stop, then support him (don't him he's the one that has to quit, and it has to be HIS decision and actions that follow through). Reward him :-) I don't know what kind of agreements you had before you were married, but if this is THAT big of a deal, then you need to be clear as to what your actions be if he continues to engage in this behavior. Otherwise, it's something that, as a couple, you need to figure out how to deal with. It's ed "marriage".
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