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a lot of good things for you too consider, not the least of which is the monumental amount of work it's going to take to fix things. He can "out logic" you wives wants dating and use all the fancy language he wants but none of that shit matters if bottom line, you are unhappy. Which is what I would tell him when he starts in with the "logic." It is problematic that is he so disengaged that your happiness means so little. It sounds to me like you two have hit a wall and need to get to marriage counseling before things get worse or one of you makes a rash decisions. I'd say you are rip fruit for having an affair so please handle this situation before you do something regrettable.
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